it was a 5 full days of holiday in egypt. the itinerary was packed early morning till evenings, so there was not much time to rest and relax. we started off in cairo and giza. everything went according to clockwork, except at cairo airport. he was remanded by immigration for further checks. i was worried, and i obviously wanted to stay within view sight of him, so that i can help should anything happens. should i have ran after the marriott guy to arrange for transport while he was being held up? dont think so..
we had a female personal tour guide in luxor. when she was talking and explaining the sights, she was only looking at andy. she did glance at me once in a while, but she mostly ignored me while she talked. andy observed that too, and i was very pissed off with her. i had paid for her service, and i expected her to be polite and attentive. i felt discriminated against, as if i am not worthy of her tour. it was a hurtful feeling. but what can i do? im an asian with a white guy in post colonial egypt. andy didnt say much nor did he try to console me. but should i expect him to? maybe not, since he probably has never experienced racial discrimination.
i had expected luxor to be very Hot, as it is perpetually cloudless sky over there. the afternoon temperature reached 40deg, and we will be exploring all the outdoor sites (tombs and temples in the dessert) that day. i had expected the sun to be intense, so i packed along with me a white long sleeve shirt, since i didnt want to get burnt. however, i realised that andy did not bring a long sleeve along, so i offered him mine, as he burns easily. i was actually amazed at my own selfless act. did i expect anything in return? no not really, but a hug or a kiss will be nice. i got "thank you" though..
we went back to our hotel in luxor after the tour, feeling extremely exhausted as we started the morning at 5am. i had chosen the sheraton hotel to stay in, as i thought the facilities looked better. andy wanted another hotel as sheraton was undergoing renovation to a part of the building, and he didnt want the noise and dust etc. we had a long discussion over hotels during the planning, but i thought we had reached on a consensus. andy started to get really upset when we entered our room, as there was a smell of cigarette smoke and he could hear a bit of drilling in the distance. personally i was prepared for the slight inconvenience, as i had anticipated a bit of construction in the next wing, and the work will cease at 5pm as assured by the hotel staff. our room wasnt that bad, as it was a sheraton after all. but andy went into a minor fit and started to put the blame on me, as i didnt listened to him in choosing another hotel. i admitted it was probably my fault, but putting blames on a trip does not solve things. by that stage, i did not know how to console/please him, and i descended into the blaming game too. it was a brief fight, but made peace after a while. what should i have done at that point in time, i was at a loss trying to tame a raging bull??
the next day, we need to travel by road to hurghada, but due to some miscommunication with the hotel desk, our morning bus was screwed up, and we ended up looking for alternative transport which would cost £22 (instead of £3) each. andy was again very mad, and i found myself having to calm him down, and at the same time trying to negotiate with the pesky locals (money bloodsuckers) for alternatives. sometimes i wish he can take a bit of initiative to get things sorted, but sometimes he just adds to the stress. however, this was an easy case to solve, as money is king!!
andy suffered a mini crisis on the private transport to hurghada and it really worried me. we were in the middle of the dessert, with no facilities in sight. i will not go into details, but all i can say was that i tried to show all the support i could, and tried to encourage him on. i also had to deal with the pesky driver and asked him to get lost. i know andy was hurt in the process, and i tried to offer what i had on me to make him feel more comfortable. when we reached the hotel, andy was still very upset over the crisis. im not too sure, but i think he was upset with me for not being supportive enough.. but what could i have done otherwise to help??
the final day of our holiday, and i was feeling a bit ill, and had been taking paracetamol. it was a whole day of snorkeling, with 3 dives. i have snorkeled before, but somehow, i faced problems during our first snorkel which was near the beach. my mask was leaking and i could not breathe properly. i was getting more and more tired, and i began to struggle in the deep water. it reached the stage when i started to panic and started to gasp for breath. i think i might have drowned! it was a very frightful thought! i shouted out to the instructor who instinctively dragged me to shallower waters so that i could stand and become calm again. i felt very shaken; something really serious could have happened out there... but i recovered quickly and stayed on in the shallow water by the beach. i looked around for andy. where was he? he must be still out there snorkeling with the rest of the group. i waited for 5 mins by myself. 10 mins. 15 mins. 20 mins. he came back and asked me what happened and began telling me about the fishes and a crab he saw. by that time, i had gone from mild shock to great resentment. i was extremely upset that he didnt turn back for me in my greatest time of need. he was no where to be found. i think i nearly cried. where is my bf when i needed him for support? how am i to entrust my life in somebody who i thought i can depend on? in all sorts of trips/expeditions, i never ever lose sight of people i care for in my entire life. it's just some sort of innate responsibility to take care of each other. maybe this was built up in the military. but this trust came crashing that day... ultimately, i cannot rely on anyone else but myself. i was shell shocked and no words could help. actions speak louder than words. to be fair, andy said he was beside me one moment, saw me with the instructor the next moment, and he lost sight of me after that. he was worried. but i was too distraught to absorb anything.
on the 2nd dive, i was still facing problems. this time round, andy was right beside me to check on me. i had to use the life jacket for assistance. im glad that he stuck beside me, instead of swimming away to explore on his own. im glad he learnt some responsibility after the first lesson, but i do not know what to think. he was having some problems in the open sea too, with huge waves threatening to submerge us. we decided to head back to the ship after a while.
i definitely fell ill that evening, with a very bad sore throat and fever. my sinuses were all congested which made breathing slightly difficulty (maybe thats why difficulty in the water). we took an early morning flight back to london, and i was sick/unwell/exhausted beyond words. i cant get to sleep on flights (as usual). due to the blockage of my sinuses, i experienced extreme pain in my ear drums on descend. it was horrible. i would rather have one quick very sharp pain, instead of a protracted intense pain that threatened to blow my skull apart. "are u feeling alright?" he said. im not... cant you see that i am in pain? but what can he do? thanks for asking.
arrived london, and both of us fell sick, and took many days to
nurse ourselves back to health.
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